Plot Summary
Anna Konda, Queen of the pirates, sinks a galleon belonging to the Maharajah of Mumbai and escapes with the treasure. Sinbad is commissioned to retrieve it and sails to remote and mysterious Googli Island with the Maharajah, his daughter Princess Shakira and his Auntie Selima. The rascally queen has prepared all sorts of booby traps which Sinbad must overcome in his quest.
The script has a kind of Indiana Jones feel (especially in Raiders of the Lost Ark), and is packed with laughter, fast-paced, and full of ingenious twists and turns.
Running time: 2 hours approx
CAST (in order of appearance)
Anna Konda, Pirate Queen, Die Hard, the mate, Insahid & Outsahid, Milly Malone, Tinie Tom, the rapper, Cutthroat Kirsty, Naughty Nadia, Sinbad, hero and Principal Boy, Mustapha Sinbad’s pal, Selima, Sinbad’s auntie, Ali Timpan, Selima’s admirer, Maharajah of Mumbai, Grand Vizier, Princess Shakira, Jazmin, the Princess’s maid, Messenger
Chorus of Traders, Courtiers, Pirates & Zombies
Place – the quayside at Mumbai, the palace throne room, a kitchen, on board ship, the Cavern of Doom
Time – past
An Excerpt of Sinbad and the Pirate Queen
ACT 1
Scene 1
Front of tabs
Enter Anna Konda Left. She is smartly dressed with knee-high boots
Anna Hello. (Response) Hello, everybody! (A bigger response) My name is Anna. What’s yours? My surname’s Konda. No, not Konta, I don’t play tennis. (A sparkle in her eye) Though I could! Women can do anything these days, eh girls? (Ad-lib with audience) It’s a funny name. Anna Konda. Tell you what, why don’t you shout out a name, and I’ll add a funny surname, okay? Like, suppose you shouted out, “Bill”, I’d say “Ding”. Bill Ding, get it? Right, come on, who’s first?
You could get anything here. The trick is to keep to the script
Adam? Adam Zappel!
Tommy? Tommy Hawk!
Lily? Lily Pond!
Sam? Sam an’ Ella!
Bonnie? (pretend it’s a tough one) Bonnie Ann Clyde!
Jo? Jo King!
Amanda? Amanda Lynn!
Christopher—Chris? Chris Cross!
Thomas—Tom? Tom Morrow/Katt
It’s best if the audience is noisy. If it’s quiet you might get a little boy or girl shouting out very clearly some name like Alastair or Penelope. Actually these two aren’t bad: Alastair can be changed to Ally, and Penelope to Penny, thus:
Ally? Ally Gator! Or, Ally Money (one for the mums and dads!)
Penny? Penny Lane! Or, Penny Wise!
Dick? Dicky Bow!
Frank? Frank N Stein!
Hazel? Hazel Nut!
Peter—Pete? Pete Moss/Bog
Randy? avoid! (Say “Pass!” or “Next!”)
Richard—Rick? Rick Shaw!
David? (“Next!”)
Emily— Emma? Emma Believer or Belieber!
Save these for the Big Finish
1) Sheila? She loves you, yeah yeah yeah!
2) William—Willy? Willy Nilly! (Long pause, building up) Willy Nocum Back Again!
Don’t let it go on too long. Call a halt by saying:
Enough already!
Walks to Stage Right
Do you know that programme on the telly called “Who Do You Think You Are?” Well! I’m going to turn it into a game called “Who Do You Think I Am?” Well, what am I? A fairy, perhaps? I could put on a tutu—
A stagehand holds out a tutu but she declines it
– or get a wand (she produces a wand from up her sleeve), sprinkle fairy dust (gets some glitter from a concealed pocket and sprinkles it with a flourish), and of course recite a verse—usually very bad verse:
Hello hello, I’m Fairy Snow,
I don’t know whether to come or go.
Golly gumshoes, hocus pocus,
Super expialidocus!
Gosh, this is hard work. Or, I could be a Principal Boy, do a bit of strutting (she struts) and slap my thigh (she slaps her thigh). Nah, it’s not me, is it? Why? Cos I’m a woman, that’s why. (Pause) I think you know who I am, don’t you, boys and girls? (Points to a small boy) What? No, not pirate chief, Pirate Queen! Everyone say, “Ha harrh!”
Audience Ha harrh!
Music starts
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